Brain Farts

Here, Human Human! Here, Human Human!



Big pointy ears, fuzzy little body, and big yellow eyes. 
My Dr. Cuddle and Mr. Keep-You-Up-All-Night cat.

So let me tell you about this little “adorable” monster. Whenever I go to bed, my cat, Leo, has to join me. When I say join me it means that if he is not in my room, he will attack the bedroom doorknob and cry over and over. Not at all giving two craps that everyone is trying to sleep at 11pm. And he has done this before for over an hour straight. Therefore, I let him sleep in my room. Yes, I’m a pushover. I’ve already accepted I’m going to be a terrible mother of human babies. 

Anyways… When Leo is sweet, it’s great because he turns into the best teddy bear-cat any cat owner would love to have.

BUT NOOOOOO!!!! Last night, he had to be the most annoying cat on the face of the planet. I love him to pieces, but sometimes I wish I could tear him into pieces for his atrocious habits. What happened last night? Here’s my list:

1. He couldn’t find a comfy place and relocated multiple times, disregarding how much of a light-sleeper I am.
2. He took over my pillow, shoving his furry butt into my face and his fur went up my nose. Terrible sneeze attack ensued.
3. At some point, he was bopping my nose. Not that he needed anything. He was simply bored and found it entertaining.
4. He lick-attacked my face. Again, he was bored.
5. He meowed right into my ear, abruptly waking me up and I turned over to see his stupid, cute face like he didn’t do anything wrong. When I finally fell back to sleep, he did it again.

At 6 freaking-am, this little knuckle-head of mine smacked my face with his untrimmed claws and when I open my eyes, he leaped off the bed and ran straight to the door. He was hungry and my mother fed him around this time. Ermahgawd… so I feed this evil, cute being and head back to bed. 

30 minutes later… “Meow! Meow! Meow!”….doorknob rattles loudly…. “Meow! Meow! Meow!” 

Exhausted and wishing I had gotten a hamster, I make the best decision I’ve made for myself all night. Ear plugs. I fall happily back to sleep.

Now guess who is tired this morning? Leo! And guess who is going to annoy the crap of him? This girl! He better be happy my coffee was extra strong. 

I wonder how many pet owners suffer the night-time problems as I do.


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