A wife walks into her husband’s office to find him on the computer. “Honey, I need you to fix the faucet on the sink. It’s leaking.” She tells him.
“I’ll get to it.” He answers in a monotone voice, keeping his eyes on the monitor.
“Also, it’s time for the cars to have their oil changed.”
“I got it.”
“I have to work late tonight. Will you go to Timmy’s parent-teacher-conference?”
“Sure will.” He says, not once looking away. The wife shakes her head, doubtful he heard anything she said.
The wife finds her preteen son sprawled out on the couch and typing away on his laptop. “Timmy, did you do your homework?” She asks him.
“Yep.” He replies, fingers racing across the keys.
“Did you clean your room like I asked you to?”
“Did you mow the lawn?”
“Yep.” He repeats again with his eyes glued to the screen. She walks away thinking her son is a miniature version of her husband.
Several days pass and the wife discovers that the guys didn’t do anything she asked them to do. Furious, she finds them sitting at the dining table. Both were scribbling away on printing papers. Crossing her arms, she asks them, “Did you two do what I asked?”
“Yep.” The son mumbles.
“Sure did.” The husband responds loudly. Both continue scratching the papers with their pens.
Angry by their lies, the wife turns to the son, “Is that a bag of weed in your dresser?” “Yep.” The son immediately replies. She turns to her husband, “Have you been seeing our neighbor’s twenty-year-old daughter?” “Sure did.” He answers loudly again as he stamps away on his calculator.
A few seconds of silence later, both the husband and son realize what she had asked them and both are mortified when they look up at her. The wife’s face is red with fury. “What the HELL have you two been doing this entire time?!” She yells at them, “I cannot do everything by MYSELF!” Both the husband and the son exchange glances and turn in their seats to face her.
“You see, honey.” The husband clears his throat, “Your son and I are not happy. We can’t stand it anymore. I really can’t stand it anymore”
“What?…” The wife is caught off-guard. “What can you not stand anymore?”
“This.” He points around the house, “And us. I think it’s best we make some changes.” He says firmly, “You and I deserve a better lifestyle.”
The wife presses a hand to her chest like she has been stabbed with a knife. Unsure of what her husband is saying, she softly asks, “What do you mean? What are these papers for?” She wonders if her husband is going to say the dreaded D-word.
“Please don’t take our procrastination personal.” He softly smiles.
“Then what have you been up to? What are these forms?” The wife begins to tear up. “Mom, please don’t cry. These are not what you think.” The son gets up and shows her the papers. There are charts and pages full of random numbers each dated for certain days of the week for the past several months. They were not divorce papers.
“We’ve been doing a lot of research and…” Timmy pauses to look at his father who is smiling proudly and turns back to her with a large smile, “…I think we found the numbers for the next lottery drawing!”
Both the husband and son high-five each other excitedly, but the wife stands there dumbfounded. “Seriously?” She scolds at them, “When did you two decide to start this idiotic project?”
Her husband responds, “When you gave us all those awful chores, we decided to win the lottery and pay someone else to do it.”
- Worm into the bedroom mission continues | weliveinaflat
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | thecommonmap
- The Man who Always Worried | Godrick Gnomish
- Time Keeps On Slipping…Into the Future | Andante Cantabile
- Procrastination | Geek Ergo Sum
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | Fasting, Food and other musings by determined34
- The Eventual Return of the Masked Procrastinator | Not a Punk Rocker
- Underrated | Phelio a Random Post a Day
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | Under the Monkey Tree
- thesis? what thesis? | FamousFeline
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | littlegirlstory
- The Queen Of Procrastination | suzie81’s Blog
- A Daily Prompt Poem: Time « Vicariously Poetic
- Daily Prompt: Procrastinate | A mom’s blog
- Procrastination | Sue’s Trifles
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | My Atheist Blog
- Daily Prompt:Putting off | Motherhood and Beyond
- Kick-Ass Cake and Delaying the Novel Moment! | alienorajt
- To Gym or Not to Gym | Books, Music, Photography & Movies : my best friends
- Putting off Me | My Beautiful Breakdown
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination « Mama Bear Musings
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination « Mama Bear Musings
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | The Daily Post « The Blogging Path
- Procrastination | The Ambitious Drifter
- Why do today what can be put off till tomorrow? Maybe, I will write this blog tomorrow! | jennifermarshcurtis
- “I’ll Admit It, I Procrastinate” | Creative Mysteries
- Assignment | ayimas
- Procrastination | Maine Forest Cafe
- 142. Daily Prompt: Procrastination | kevindeisher
- Preview 8/20/13: Shakespeare, Hip-Hop, & Why Radio Sucks | Crown Town Scribe
- How long can I really put something off? | Rob’s Surf Report
- Laziness is the answer | amateurxpress
- Do It Later | Tony’s Texts
- Poetry Contest! | Haiku By Ku
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | The Daily Post | Emotional Fitness
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination SISTA IS DOING IT FOR HERSELF | Phoenix Flights
- Red line on my new iMac – procrastination topic | Slow and steady
- Procrastination | The Rider
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | Things I have learnt today
- Daily Prompt – Procrastination | Kate Murray
- Time Pox [Daily Prompt: Procrastination] | unknowinglee
- Procasti- Yawn. | Blue Loft
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | Basically Beyond Basic
- Pay Me Now or Pay Me Later | No Facilities
- I Love Packing, I Hate Unpacking: Procrastination | thanks for letting me autograph your cat
- Procrastination | Purple Rosemary
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination | Ruminations from an Introvert
- A Treatise on Time (Or, Why I am Doing This Instead of All the Other Things I (maybe) Should be Doing) | The Silver Leaf Journal
- Kind of Procrastinating | Kind of a Bum
- What if I wasn’t so lazy? | Okay, what if ?
- Daily Prompt: Procrastination – It is Earlier When You Think | SERENDIPITY