Chocolate-Influenced Short Stories

Make Your Own Damn Sandwich

A young couple are cuddling together on the couch and watching some late night TV shows when suddenly the boyfriend’s stomach growls.

“Baby,” he says, “Do you love me?”

“Yes I do.” She replies.

“If you truly love me, you’d make me a sandwich.”

The girlfriend nonchalantly asks him, “Do you love me?”

“Yes I do.” he replies.

“If you truly love me, you’d get it yourself.”

There is an awkward silence when the show returns and the couple watch quietly. When the commercials play, the boyfriend makes the first comment:

“If you truly love me, you’d let me play my video games.”

“If you truly love me, you’d stop bombing the bathroom.”

“If you truly love me, you’d take less than two hours getting ready to go out, especially to Wal-Mart.”

“If you truly love me, you’d throw your disgusting ten-year-old ‘lucky’ underwear away.”

There is an awkward silence when the show returns and the couple watch quietly. When the commercials play, the girlfriend makes the first comment:

“If you truly love me, you’d mow the lawn.”

“If you truly love me, you’d learn to do it yourself.”

“If you truly love me, you’d eat your veggies.”

“If you truly love me, you’d stop cooking.”

There is an awkward silence when the show returns and the couple watch quietly. When the commercials play, the boyfriend makes the first comment:

“If you truly love me, let me go out with the boys.”

“If you truly love me, you’d remember our anniversary.”

“If you truly love me, you’d let me get a 60 inch flat screen TV.”

“If you truly love me, you’d take me to Italy like you promised.”

There is an awkward silence when the show returns and the couple watch quietly. When the commercials play, the girlfriend makes the first comment:

“If you truly love me, you’d give me a baby.”

“If you truly love me… um… ah… damn it. I’ll go make my sandwich.”

“I love you, jerk.”

I love you, crybaby.”

Daily Prompt: Funny Ha-Ha

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13 thoughts on “Make Your Own Damn Sandwich

  1. Awesome! 😀 It made me laugh! I feel somewhat identified with the male character (not 100% identified because I make my own sandwiches most of the times)

  2. Pingback: Laughter is the best medicine | A mom's blog

  3. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Funny Ha-Ha | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  4. Pingback: Am I really all that funny? | Rob's Surf Report

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