Chocolate-Influenced Short Stories

I’m Going To Imagine That Didn’t Happen

It’s an early afternoon and I’m craving a snack. Particularly a Danish from the local bakery. I arrive to see that there are only a handful of customers inside. One of them being a girl with long blonde hair and is facing the register. She is wearing a loose pink tank-top and her skinny jeans show off her athletic legs and, dare I say it, a very firm toosh.

I approach the counter and try to make eye contact with skinny jeans girl but she steps away with two cups of coffee. She heads over to the other end of the bakery and sits down at a table that is occupied by another girl, keeping her back towards me. The other female has an almost identical physique and hair-style. They must be twins.

The cashier takes my order, a Danish and a cup of coffee, and I watch the girls intently as I wait. They are too far for me to hear anything they are gossiping about. The other girl keeps showing the one I’m interested in something on her phone and they laugh together.

I glance under their table to find two backpacks. The skinny jeans girl has patches of baseballs and soccer balls all over hers as the other has cheerleading patches. Typical twins with opposite interests. The cheerleader twin is plastered with makeup and her skin appears greasy. I’m assuming the other one goes for more of a natural look which is something I prefer on girls.

Feeling particularly good today, I decide to introduce myself to her and I know the perfect pick-up line. After picking up my Danish and coffee, I head over to the girls’ table and take in a deep breathe of confidence.

“Excuse me, do you two go to Landen High?” I ask charmingly.

Both look up at me and the one in the skinny jeans says, “Nah, dude. We’re from Jackson High.” I nearly drop my meal when ‘she’ looks up with a blonde mustache. The other girl stares at me with a raised eye brow. I’m mortified. Skinny jeans girl is a skinny jeans guy.

“Oh… I just thought I’ve seen you two there before.” I stutter, “Pardon me.” Before the two could say anything else, I turn away and head straight out of the bakery. I need to erase this memory, stat!

Daily Prompt: Imagine All The People

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10 thoughts on “I’m Going To Imagine That Didn’t Happen

  1.  
    Back in high school there was this nice gay kid named Destiny, that me and my boyz where cool with. Well one day Destiny disappears and is not seen for a few weeks. Nobody bothers to wonder where he disappeared to. Then one day, me and some of my friends are walking up the school, when my boy Abu, notices this chick walking about 20 feet ahead of us. She was wearing booty hugger shorts and a tank. And my boy is going crazy. “Oh my god son, check the fatty on that shorty”. And we are looking at her, but there is something quite not right with this picture. So we stay quite while Abu goes on and on about what he would do to her if he ever got the chance. And he is now saying it loud enough for her to hear. Well she turns around, and lo and behold it’s our buddy Destiny, who apparently had disappeared in order to get hormone therapy. And she\he smiles at us and says in the most flamboyant voice possible “Hi boys!” If Abu could have crawled away through the cracks in the pavement he would have. We tortured him over that for months. Good times.

    • Hahaha! I would have picked on him too. With the latest ‘hipster’ trend, I’m finding guys (straight or gay or both) are dressing in clothes as tight as girls clothing. I already had a few ‘oops, wrong gender’ moment. It’s really embarrassing.

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